Ryder

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

-Elizabeth Stone

Guilty As Charged

So the other day at work I was in the restroom and as I was getting ready to leave and I decided I better turn around and check out my rear end to see if the jeans I was wearing were giving me MB (or mom butt if you will).  You know what MB is right?  It's where your jeans make your butt look all flat and wide and shapeless.  Now that I am a mother I feel like I am more prone to this unfortunate phenomenon.  And sure enough my suspicions were correct! 

Now about this time you're probably thinking how incredibly tragic and embarassing that is in and of itself, and how you are so glad that this happened to me and not you.  But it gets worse.  As I was standing with my rear facing the mirror and trying to twist my head around exorcist style to check out what was going on back there a lovely, very professional woman (who has surely never suffered from MB and therefore could not understand) walked in.  I tried to act casual and act like I had a string or something on the back of my shirt, but the damage was done.  She knew.  She knew that I was checking out my butt in a public bathroom.  She was polite enough and just gave me a confused smile and walked in one of the stalls.  At this point I make a quick exit and hope to never run into her again.  I'm sure as soon as she got out she went back to her office and told everyone about the girl with MB who was checking herself out.  I'm sure she got home that night and told her husband and maybe called her sister to tell her as well. 

So what's the moral of this story?  The moral is to check your backside out before you leave in the privacy of your own home!  May you all (the whopping 3 people that read this including my mom) learn a lesson from this.  Good luck out there.

Xoxo,

Emily

PS.

See Erin you're not the only person that embarasses themselves.

On The Road Again

So last weekend we took a road trip to Boise to see Mike's dad Bob and his grandparents.  Along the way we saw many fascinating things--like cars, clouds and dirt.  Oh my!

My sister-in-law Mindi and her family also joined us.  Here they are enjoying the scenery as well.  Please don't judge me by my squiggly arrows.

After 5 breathtaking hours in the car we arrived at Grandma and Grandpa Mendenhall's humble abode.

What made their abode so humble (in my professional opinion as an abode judge) was the marble floors, the copper sink, the lake and the swimming pool out their back door, the large awesome rooms that all had full bathrooms, the 2 (that's right 2) ovens and microwaves, the large fireplaces, the guest house out back, the massive garage, and all the awesome wood work.  But like I said, that's just my opinion.

In honor of my arrival they had a portrait of me painted.  I said it was a little over the top, but they insisted. Here Ryder and I are posing first thing in the morning next to it.  (Thanks for not letting me get dressed before taking this picture Mike.)

This was Ryder's first time meeting her Grandpa Bob.  She was slightly alarmed.

Here she is with great-grandparents Larry and Dee.

This is Bandy, one of their cats.  She is either 6, 16 or 60 years old.  I can't remember which one, but I'm confident it's one of those.

In conclusion I asked Ryder to sum up her feelings about the trip in a series of facial expressions.

She started out a little apprehensive.

But then she warmed right up.

Until she got sick the next day and then she was a kind of "over it".

All in all it caught her a little off guard but was still a fantastic time of family bonding and story telling.  We had a blast and relived fun filled childhood memories and near tragedies.  It just doesn't get any better than that!

Xoxo,

Emily

Halloween, Better Late than Never Right?

So this was Ryder's first Halloween and as her mother I had high hopes and imagined all the wonderful memories we would be creating while trick-or-treating and getting her costume on etc.

Here she is pre costume and post face painting attempt.  The one side went ok, but then she was getting seriously mad and it was really hard to hold her squishy cheeks and paint something resembling whiskers.  Thus the fantastic surgeon like precision.

Here we have her immediately after shoving her slightly too long body into her costume I bought 6 weeks prior. Notice the extra long leg hanging out, and the expression of contempt.

Now let's zoom in a little on that angelic smile that could light the midnight sky.  As you can see she is delighted beyond words.

Here we introduce her cousin Mace who is only 3 weeks older.  Ryder often tolerates him but does not find him amusing.

Mace on the other hand is perfectly content and having the time of his life.

Here we are approximately 27 minutes after putting her in her costume.  We haven't even made it past my parent's front yard.

And that will conclude all of Ryder's first Halloween.  At this point she has a complete hysterical melt down and I have to take her out of her costume before she has heat stroke.  About 45 seconds after that she falls asleep and calls it a day.  Just for the record her costume ended up costing slightly under a dollar a minute.

Let's go back to someone who enjoys making fabulous memories.

Dang that kid is cute!  His brother Krew wasn't really feeling the Halloween spirit either and this was the only picture I got of him as a pirate before he had had enough of me.

In conclusion I present you with my brother Josh as the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson.

Don't you worry I've already got high hopes for next year!

Xoxo,

Emily

My Husband Is A Murderer

Seriously.  Can you believe I sleep next to this homicidal maniac every night and have (knock on wood) been fortunate enough to wake up every morning?! 

Just look at how he makes no attempt to hide his blood-lust.  It's shameful. 

He even talks openly about his killing with no fear of the consequences.  What a freak.  (Unless you're reading this Mike, then I meant to say...uh...I um...love you my handsome sane husband you.)

Until we meet again.  Hopefully...

Xoxo,

Emily

Jealous?

Yeah I made these puppies for Halloween.

It gets even better.  Or worse--if you weren't there to eat them.  I added white chocolate and cinnamon.

Yep I have to admit, they were delicious.  Here is the finished product all wrapped and ready to go.

I'm taking reservations for next year...

Xoxo,

Emily