Jillian Michaels Can Go To Hell

There I said it.  That is exactly what I think every time I do her workout video the 30 Day Shred.  The next logical question would be why are you doing it if you feel that way?  Because.  Because I am not the same since having a baby.  My body is a lot more...gelatinous if you will.  My clothes do not fit the same and I am tired of forcing my butt and thighs into jeans that I can practically hear moaning when I pull them out.

I know that I am very fortunate that all my baby weight has come off and I haven't been one of those poor women that seriously struggle post pardom.  Ok and by all of my baby weight I mean most of my baby weight.  Who knew that 5 lbs (give or take) could make such a big difference in your love handles?  The point is if I can't get back my smooth stretch mark free stomach shouldn't I at least be able to get back my pant size?  Speaking of "stretchies" as I like to call them, what a freaking rip off!  I know, I know, once again I am lucky and only have a handful of small light "stretchies" that didn't even show up until after I had Ryder and my stomach deflated.  Who am I to complain when some come out of pregnancy looking like they just experienced hand-to-hand combat with Wolverine.  But I digress, the point is I knew going into this I wouldn't come out the same but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try!

So back to the subject (and yes I am going somewhere with this rambling and complaining).  I hate Jillian, I hate her so much.  She's so mean to me.  And she hurts me.  And she's mean!  It's only a freaking 30 minute workout, but somehow during that time she looks at me through the TV and she is judging me.  She knows that I'm secretly thinking about cake.  She knows that I watch The Biggest Loser and eat cookies at the same time.  How she does it I will never know, but I'm certain that she does.  So even though I loath and despise her I also secretly love her and know that if anyone can pry some results out of me she can.  I am making this my End of Year resolution.  Not to be confused with a New Year resolution, which in my experience rarely pan out.

If you see me on the street ask me about Jillian and if I'm still working out.  And when I say "Why yes I am, thank you for asking" then you should ask me if I'm lying to you.  At which point I'll say"Ughhhh  how did you know?!"  I'm not making any promises but I am going to make a valiant effort so I'll let you know how it goes.  Wish me luck.

Xoxo,

Emily